1 00:00:00,468 --> 00:00:01,702 PREVIOUSLY ON... 2 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,071 (laughs) LADIES. 3 00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:05,239 RENEE WAS CHARMED BY THE NEW NEIGHBOR. 4 00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,807 DIBS. 5 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,044 TRYING TO PROTECT GABY, CARLOS COMMITTED MURDER. 6 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:14,482 WE ARE NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS. 7 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,150 ARE YOU GONNA BE ABLE TO LIVE WITH THAT? 8 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,752 AND THE WOMEN SWORE TO KEEP THE SECRET. 9 00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:22,123 BUT THEN BREE RECEIVED A WARNING. 10 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,698 (Mary Alice) WHEN I WAS ALIVE, 11 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:35,369 BREE VAN DE KAMP WAS ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. 12 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:40,841 MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE WE HAD SO MUCH IN COMMON. 13 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:45,613 LIKE BREE, I ALSO RECEIVED A MENACING LETTER-- 14 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,516 ONE THAT THREATENED TO SHATTER THE PERFECT LIFE 15 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:52,753 I HAD WORKED SO HARD TO CREATE. 16 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:58,559 YOU SEE, I HAD ONCE COMMITTED A DESPERATE ACT OF MY OWN. 17 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:02,796 AND DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS TO CONCEAL IT, 18 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:07,501 SOMEONE FOUND OUT AND WAS DETERMINED TO EXPOSE ME. 19 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,806 I THOUGHT ABOUT TELLING MY FRIENDS. 20 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:17,178 BUT I DECIDED NOT TO BURDEN THEM. 21 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:20,681 I HAD HOPED THAT WITH ONE FINAL ACT, 22 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:23,651 I COULD CONSIGN MY DEEDS TO HISTORY. 23 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,687 BUT I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT HISTORY... (click) 24 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,524 HAS A WAY OF REPEATING ITSELF. 25 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:37,165 SOMETHING INTERESTING? (gasps) 26 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:41,802 NO. NO, JUST A... LETTER... 27 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:45,539 FROM A FRIEND WHO I HAVEN'T, UH, HEARD FROM IN A WHILE. 28 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,575 YOU OKAY? 29 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,710 I'M FINE. 30 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,412 I'M JUST ANNOYED 31 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:55,883 BECAUSE THE, UH, POSTMAN LEFT ME GABY'S WATER BILL AGAIN. 32 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,686 YOU GO IN. I'LL JUST PUT IT BACK IN THE BOX. 33 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,189 ALL RIGHT. 34 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,794 (door closes) 35 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:17,938 (gasps) OH, KAREN. 36 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,708 YOU SCARED ME. WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT SO LATE? 37 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,877 WHAT AM I, A CAT? I'M ALLOWED TO BE OUT PAST 10:00. 38 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:28,349 I'M SORRY. HAVE YOU SEEN ANYONE NEAR MY MAILBOX? 39 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,750 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 40 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:34,322 I JUST... GOT A LETTER. 41 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,423 AN OBSCENE LETTER. 42 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,790 THAT'S ALL? 43 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:39,493 YOU OUGHTA BE HAPPY THAT SOMEONE STILL FINDS YOU OBSCENE. 44 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,463 LAST WEEK, I GOT CALLED "SIR" THREE TIMES. 45 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,465 KAREN! THIS IS SERIOUS. 46 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,900 I NEED TO FIND OUT WHO PUT THIS LETTER IN MY MAILBOX. 47 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,837 WOW, YOU'RE REALLY SHAKEN UP. 48 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,306 YES, I AM. 49 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,441 THIS IS VERY UPSETTING, 50 00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,809 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. 51 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,812 IT'S JUST A NOTE, BREE. LET IT GO. 52 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:06,887 YES, BREE VAN DE KAMP AND I HAD SO MUCH IN COMMON. 53 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:10,758 WE SHARED SIMILAR LIVES. 54 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,694 AND NOW BREE FOUND HERSELF PRAYING 55 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:17,465 THAT WE WOULDN'T SHARE A SIMILAR FATE. 56 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,780 IN THE DIVIDED WORLD OF THE SUBURBS, 57 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:36,684 EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR A WAY TO CONNECT. 58 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:41,655 THEY FEND OFF LONELINESS WITH CASUAL CONVERSATION. 59 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:46,760 THEY SHARE OLD TREASURES WITH A YOUNG FRIEND. 60 00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:51,299 THEY HELP A NEIGHBOR MAKE A DIFFICULT MOVE. 61 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,369 BUT FOR CARLOS AND GABY SOLIS, 62 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,805 THE ONLY CONNECTION THAT MATTERED 63 00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,841 WAS THE ROMANTIC ONE. 64 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,711 AND WHEN IT CAME TO MAINTAINING IT, 65 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:08,316 GABY WAS WILLING TO PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS. 66 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,049 (pop) 67 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,785 (sighs) WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING? 68 00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:14,555 A NEW RECORD. IT'S BEEN 38 DAYS SINCE WE LAST HAD SEX, 69 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,057 AND THAT STREAK IS ENDING TONIGHT. 70 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,426 SERIOUSLY, IT'S BEEN THAT LONG? 71 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,328 38 DAYS. 72 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,696 THAT'S LIKE THREE YEARS IN HOO-HAH TIME. 73 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,398 (chuckles) SWEETIE, I WOULD LOVE TO, 74 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:26,033 BUT I HAVE WAY TOO MUCH WORK TO DO. 75 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,602 UNH-UNH. NO, NO. NO EXCUSES. 76 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,704 I CHANGED THE SHEETS, SHAVED MY LEGS, 77 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,072 AND DUMPED THE KIDS AT McCLUSKEY'S, 78 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,343 SO DROP YOUR PANTS, COWBOY, AND SADDLE UP. 79 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,045 YES, MA'AM. 80 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:41,449 OH! (laughing) 81 00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:51,058 DON'T FEEL BAD. IT HAPPENS TO LOTS OF MEN. 82 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:54,795 NOT TO ME. NOT TO US. 83 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,063 (sighs) 84 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,765 WELL, IT HAS BEEN 38 DAYS. 85 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,800 MAYBE THE POOR LITTLE GUY FORGOT WHAT TO DO. 86 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,034 NOT HELPING. 87 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,102 OH. 88 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,105 LISTEN, YOU'VE BEEN UNDER A LOT OF STRESS LATELY. 89 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,708 SO RELAX. 90 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,009 HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU A NICE MASSAGE, 91 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,779 WE FINISH THE CHAMPAGNE, AND LATER WE TRY AGAIN? 92 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,682 GABY, THANKS, BUT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK, OKAY? 93 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,855 (sighs) 94 00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:28,596 LIKE CARLOS, SUSAN DELFINO WAS ALSO FEELING DISCONNECTED. 95 00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:33,467 HER GUILT MADE THE WORLD A STRANGE AND SCARY PLACE... 96 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,569 (brakes squeal) 97 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:39,707 WHERE SHE COULD BE EXPOSED AT ANY MOMENT. 98 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:43,811 HEY! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! 99 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,746 I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. 100 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,014 WHAT? 101 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,816 YEAH, AND YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY WITH IT. 102 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,018 YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD WALK OUT WITH A CASE OF SODA 103 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,420 AND NO ONE WOULD NOTICE? 104 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:56,690 OH. UH... (laughs) 105 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,626 I-I FORGOT THOSE WERE DOWN THERE. 106 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,629 YEAH. RIGHT. I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE. 107 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,797 MA'AM, I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO STEP AWAY FROM THE CART 108 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,666 AND KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE 'EM. 109 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,000 (panting) EVERYTHING OKAY HERE? 110 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,769 IF YOU CONSIDER LARCENY OKAY. 111 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,504 MRS. DELFINO, 112 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:13,974 ON BEHALF OF FAIRVIEW MARKET, I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR KEVIN. 113 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:14,908 SEEMS WE'RE ALL PAYING THE PRICE 114 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,745 FOR HIS REJECTION FROM THE POLICE ACADEMY. 115 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,448 OH, WELL, EXCUSE ME FOR NOT WANTING TO LIVE IN A WORLD 116 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,615 WHERE PEOPLE CAN COMMIT CRIMES 117 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,684 WITHOUT SUFFERING THE CONSEQUENCES. 118 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,153 YOU ARE A CRIMINAL. 119 00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:30,190 I'VE KNOWN MRS. DELFINO FOR YEARS. 120 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,660 SHE PAYS FOR THE GRAPES SHE EATS IN THE PRODUCE SECTION. 121 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:35,696 SHE WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING BAD. 122 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,731 SURE, I WOULD. 123 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,032 WHAT? 124 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,669 YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL. 125 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,705 I'M A VERY BAD PERSON. I DID A HORRIBLE THING. 126 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,540 I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED. 127 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:49,543 LET ME CUFF HER. I HAVE CUFFS. I BROUGHT 'EM FROM HOME. 128 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,544 NO ONE'S GETTING CUFFED. 129 00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:53,714 JUST... PAY FOR THE SODA NEXT TIME YOU COME IN. 130 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,016 NO, NO, NO. NO, YOU NEED TO MARCH ME INSIDE 131 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,686 AND MAKE ME PAY NOW. MRS. DELFINO-- 132 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,521 I'M SERIOUS. 133 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:01,589 (clicking) 134 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:06,159 MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF ME TO DETER OTHER CRIMINALS. 135 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,063 FINE. TAKE HER IN. COPY THAT. 136 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:16,103 YEP. DID THE CRIME. DOING THE TIME. 137 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:19,740 DEAD MAN WALKING. 138 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:23,243 (sighs) 139 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,778 SO WHAT'S THE DAMAGE? 140 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,947 AN ARM AND A LEG? JUST AN ARM? 141 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,216 (sighs) NOT EVEN A FINGER. IT'S A CRACKED FITTING. 142 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,718 I SWAPPED IT OUT. IT'S NO CHARGE. 143 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,753 REALLY? THE FIRST GUY I CALLED 144 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,221 SAID I HAD TO RE-PIPE THE WHOLE HOUSE. 145 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,756 OH, IT'S A SCAM. 146 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,257 THESE PIPES ARE TOP-OF-THE-LINE COPPER. 147 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,660 THE GUY THAT PUT 'EM IN DID A GREAT JOB. 148 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,963 HOW DO YOU KNOW? IT WAS ME. (chuckles) 149 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,165 YOU JUST SAVED ME 10 GRAND. 150 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,234 NO WONDER PEOPLE SAY SUCH GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOU. 151 00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,903 (laughs) WELL... 152 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,772 WHAT ARE NEIGHBORS FOR? 153 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,807 NEED ANYTHING ELSE, JUST HOLLER. 154 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:57,745 ACTUALLY, THERE IS ONE THING. 155 00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,046 I'M A REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER, 156 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,214 ABOUT TO BREAK GROUND ON A NEW PROJECT, 157 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,717 AND, UH, I'M LOOKING FOR SOME HELP-- 158 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,953 LOCAL GUYS THAT I CAN TRUST. 159 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,054 YOU INTERESTED? 160 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,691 (sets box down) 161 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,967 HEY, MIKE. GOT A MINUTE? 162 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,802 UM... HEY, RENEE. 163 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,671 WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT? 164 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:24,938 WELL... 165 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,240 OH, COME ON. YOU FIXED MY TOILET FOR FREE. 166 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,643 UM, THAT WASN'T FREE. I SENT YOU A BILL. 167 00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,044 YOU JUST HAVEN'T PAID IT. 168 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:35,115 (laughs) 169 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,619 AHH. ANYWAY, LOOK, HERE'S THE DEAL. 170 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:42,690 UH, BEN LIKES ME. HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW IT YET. 171 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:46,026 NOW I NEED TO FIND THAT THING THAT WE CONNECT ON. 172 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,162 YOU'VE BEEN ON THE INSIDE. WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT HIM? 173 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:53,000 WELL, HE'S GOT COPPER PIPES. 174 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,001 SOMETHING PERSONAL. 175 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,671 I SAW A BOX OF CHEERIOS... AND A COFFEEMAKER. 176 00:08:57,705 --> 00:09:00,107 HE MUST LIKE COFFEE. UNLESS IT'S FOR GUESTS. 177 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,209 OH, MY GOD. I GOT MORE OUT OF THE CABLE GUY, 178 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,644 AND HE'S DEAF. 179 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,947 DOES HE HAVE ANY PHOTOS? ARTWORK? THINK, DELFINO, THINK! (pounds door) 180 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,081 OKAY. 181 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,618 OKAY. UM... 182 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:11,952 THERE WAS THIS PLAQUE FROM THE MAYOR-- 183 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,021 SOMETHING ABOUT HIS WORK WITH THE ELDERLY. 184 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,122 REALLY? 185 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:18,792 HE LIKES THE ELDERLY? 186 00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,628 WELL, I LIKE THE ELDERLY. 187 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,162 SINCE WHEN? 188 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,665 OH. OLD PEOPLE ARE ADORABLE. 189 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,134 I LOVE THEIR LITTLE RAISIN FACES 190 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,970 AND THOSE TENNIS BALLS THEY PUT ON THEIR WALKERS. 191 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,772 THANKS FOR THE TIP... 192 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,708 FRIEND. 193 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,944 (sighs) 194 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,979 (door opens) 195 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,080 MOM! 196 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,148 HEY, HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 197 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,651 AWESOME. DAD'S HOTEL IS SO COOL. 198 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,185 WE WENT SWIMMING IN THE POOL AND PLAYED MARCO POLO 199 00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,154 AND CANNONBALLED OFF THE DIVING BOARD. 200 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,388 WHY DON'T WE HAVE A POOL? 201 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,090 AND THEN WE GOT HAMBURGERS AND FRENCH FRIES 202 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,959 AND SUPER-SIZED CHERRY COLA SLUSHIES. 203 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,662 (slurps) AH. SUGAR AND CAFFEINE. 204 00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,964 I GUESS YOU FIGURED THEY WERE TOO YOUNG FOR METH? 205 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,066 IT'S JUST A SLUSHIE. 206 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,133 ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. SHE'S GONNA BE UP TILL 2:00 A.M. 207 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,169 JUST 'CAUSE YOU COULDN'T SAY "NO." 208 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,804 YOU'RE BLOWING THIS OUT OF PROPORTION. 209 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:04,905 WHO WANTS TO PLAY MEGA MONOPOLY? 210 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,140 IT'S JUST LIKE REGULAR MONOPOLY BUT WITH MORE STUFF. 211 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,643 YOU JUST KEEP PLAYING AND PLAYING 212 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:10,878 AND PLAYING AND PLAYING AND PLAYING... 213 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,946 YEAH. WAY OUT OF PROPORTION. 214 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,949 LOOK, NOW THAT WE'RE REALLY SEPARATED, 215 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,918 I REFUSE TO BE THE BAD GUY ALL THE TIME. 216 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,187 YOU HAVE GOT TO LEARN TO SAY "NO." 217 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,122 I SAY IT. (scoffs) 218 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,057 TONIGHT WHEN WE WALKED PAST THE PET SHOP, 219 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:24,958 THEY WANTED A SPIDER MONKEY. I SAID "NO." 220 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:28,428 I'M SERIOUS. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW. 221 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,030 I'M NOT GONNA LET THIS BE THE HOUSE OF PAIN 222 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,833 WHILE YOU'RE LIVING IT UP AT THE MTV BEACH HOUSE. 223 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,935 YOU'RE RIGHT. 224 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,704 THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW. 225 00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:40,173 FOR INSTANCE, I USED TO HAVE TO STAND HERE AND LISTEN TO THIS. 226 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:44,945 BUT NOW I'M THINKING... NO. 227 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,147 (door opens) 228 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:50,851 HEY, LOOK AT THAT. I'M GETTING PRETTY GOOD AT THIS "NO" THING. 229 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:01,929 IT'S BAD ENOUGH WHEN WE WEREN'T EVEN TRYING TO HAVE SEX, 230 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,363 BUT TO TRY AND FAIL? 231 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,898 WELL, DO YOU THINK IT MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO 232 00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,767 WITH THE STRESS CARLOS IS UNDER? 233 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,969 WE'RE ALL UNDER STRESS. YOU KNOW WHAT'S STRESSFUL? 234 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,338 IS NOT HAVING SEX FOR 39 1/2 DAYS. 235 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,907 YOU'RE SOUNDING A LITTLE CALLOUS. 236 00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:16,977 I DON'T MEAN TO. IT'S JUST, SEX IS IMPORTANT TO US. 237 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:20,914 EVEN IN OUR TOUGHEST TIMES, IT'S WHAT ALWAYS HELD US TOGETHER. 238 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,416 IF WE DON'T HAVE THAT, I'M WORRIED WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO US. 239 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,417 I GET THAT. 240 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,352 SO... COME ON, GIRLS. 241 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,922 HOW CAN I SPICE THINGS UP IN THE BEDROOM? 242 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,925 IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING? 243 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:35,095 GABRIELLE SOLIS IS ASKING US FOR SEX TIPS? 244 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,030 I KNOW! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE. 245 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,966 WELL, IF YOU DON'T MIND HARSH LIGHTING 246 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,935 AND BLATANT MISOGYNY, YOU CAN ALWAYS WATCH A PORNO. 247 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,771 WATCHED ONE. FILMED ONE. NEXT. 248 00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:45,873 THIS MAY SHOCK YOU, 249 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:49,977 BUT SOMETIMES MIKE AND I LIKE DOING IT IN PUBLIC. 250 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,979 HUH. THOSE OF US WHO WANDERED 251 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,347 BY SANTA'S WORKSHOP AT THE CHRISTMAS CARNIVAL-- 252 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,817 NOT THAT SHOCKED. 253 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,085 YOU COULD TRY ROLE-PLAYING. 254 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,287 ONCE, I DRESSED UP IN A FRENCH MAID'S COSTUME, 255 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,489 AND ORSON PRETENDED TO BE A STUBBORN STAIN, 256 00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,524 AND WHY IS EVERYBODY LOOKING AT ME? 257 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,795 SERIOUSLY, GUYS, I NEED SOME NEW MOVES. 258 00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,797 WELL, THERE'S THIS ONE MOM AT SCHOOL-- 259 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,331 AND I PROMISED I WOULDN'T USE HER NAME-- 260 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,967 BETTY CUNNINGHAM--WHO HIRED A STRIPPER TO TEACH HER 261 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,103 HOW TO GIVE HER HUSBAND A LAP DANCE. 262 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,404 WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT A STRIPPER COULD TEACH ME, 263 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:18,906 BUT IT'S WORTH A SHOT. 264 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,508 YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S GONNA WORK? 265 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,143 WHY WOULDN'T IT? 266 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:28,081 BECAUSE... I GET WHERE CARLOS IS COMING FROM. 267 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:31,852 THIS KIND OF GUILT CAN REALLY MESS WITH YOUR HEAD. 268 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,088 SOMETHING YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT? 269 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,291 OKAY, THE OTHER DAY, 270 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:41,294 I ACCIDENTALLY TOOK A CASE OF SODA FROM THE SUPERMARKET, 271 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,330 AND THE SECURITY GUARD STARTED YELLING AT ME. 272 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,065 AND AT FIRST, I WAS LIKE, "NO," 273 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,500 BUT THEN I WAS LIKE "YES, I DESERVE IT. 274 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,369 I DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED." 275 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,305 IT FELT RIGHT TO BE PUBLICLY HUMILIATED LIKE THAT, 276 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,374 AND WHY IS EVERYBODY LOOKING AT ME? 277 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,477 'CAUSE THERE'S A BUCKET OF CRAZY WHERE YOUR HEAD USED TO BE. 278 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,882 SO NOW I'M CRAZY. 279 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,852 I THOUGHT YOU SAID I COULD TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS STUFF. 280 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,353 YOU CAN, 281 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,487 AND WE APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE GRAPPLING WITH, 282 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,491 BUT YOU CANNOT GO AROUND ATTRACTING ATTENTION LIKE THAT. 283 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,592 IT'S NOT SAFE. 284 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,294 EXACTLY. 285 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,429 SO KNOCK IT OFF AND GO GET ME SOME MORE COFFEE! 286 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,302 WHAT? SHE LIKES TO BE YELLED AT. 287 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,339 HEY, YOU. 288 00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:29,609 UH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE, UH, AT WORK. 289 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,611 I PRONOUNCE THE CITY OF FAIRVIEW 290 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,047 SAFE ENOUGH TO HAVE LUNCH WITH MY GIRL. 291 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,316 OH, THAT WOULD BE LOVELY, 292 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,586 BUT I HAVE SOMETHING I NEED TO DO. SHOOT. 293 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,990 OH, YEAH? LIKE WHAT? 294 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,992 WHAT? 295 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:48,428 UNLESS IT'S A-- IT'S A BIG SECRET. 296 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,033 IS IT A BIG SECRET? 297 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,402 CHUCK. 298 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,370 I'M SORRY. YOU'RE RIGHT. 299 00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,439 I... 300 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:02,075 YOU DON'T OWE ME ANY EXPLANATIONS. 301 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,414 I JUST... I JUST NEED TO KNOW THAT WE'RE OKAY. 302 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,648 CHUCK... 303 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,418 MY FEELINGS FOR YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED, 304 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,386 JUST MY SCHEDULE FOR THE DAY. 305 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,287 MWAH. 306 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,223 WELL, THAT'S GOOD, 307 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,225 BECAUSE SUSPICION CAN BE A GREAT TRAIT IN POLICE WORK, 308 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,493 BUT IT'S HORRIBLE IN A RELATIONSHIP. 309 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,930 JUST ASK MY EX. 310 00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:25,398 I NEVER WANNA BE THAT GUY AGAIN. 311 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,573 (door opens and closes) 312 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,321 (loudly) HELLO THERE, KAREN. 313 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,389 "KAREN"? 314 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:52,425 WHAT HAPPENED TO "LIVER SPOT" OR "6 FEET UNDER" 315 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,427 OR ONE OF YOUR OTHER CUTE NICKNAMES? 316 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,396 NO, NO, I CAN'T COME IN! 317 00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:59,666 I'M JUST DROPPING OFF ANOTHER HOME-COOKED MEAL! 318 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:03,370 WHAT MEAL? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING FOR? 319 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,973 (under breath) JUST LIFT THE NAPKIN. 320 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,408 50 BUCKS. WHAT'S THE CATCH? 321 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:11,044 DON'T LOOK NOW, BUT DO YOU SEE BEN OVER THERE? 322 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,349 MM. SUBTLE. 323 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,585 ANYWAY, HE HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR OLD PEOPLE, 324 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:22,255 AND AS FAR AS HE KNOWS, SO DO I. 325 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:25,525 (loudly) NO, NO, YOUR CRINKLED LITTLE SMILE 326 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,395 IS THANKS ENOUGH FOR ME. 327 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,230 ARE YOU PETTING ME? 328 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,200 (sighs) JUST SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT ME TO BEN. 329 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,268 TELL HIM I BRING YOU MEALS, THAT KIND OF STUFF. 330 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:38,405 WELL, IT'S A PRETTY BIG FAVOR FOR 50 BUCKS. 331 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,374 CONSIDERING I DON'T LIKE YOU, I'LL DO IT FOR $100. 332 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,509 FINE. 333 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,478 TOMORROW I'LL BRING YOU A C-NOTE AND A JELL-O MOLD. DEAL? 334 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,180 (loudly) OH, RENEE. 335 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,316 BLESS YOUR HEART. YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME. 336 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,418 NO, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ENRICHES MY LIFE. 337 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,686 THE JOY I GET... 338 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,190 (normal voice) HANDS OFF. HE'S GONE. 339 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,262 OH, MY GOD. 340 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,332 YOU THINK I SENT THIS? 341 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,367 YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THIS MAKES ME FEEL? 342 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,302 FORGIVE ME. I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE 343 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,304 TO DAMAGE THE SELF-ESTEEM OF A MURDERER. 344 00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,273 A CONFESSED MURDERER. 345 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,709 AND THIS--THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN SEE ME? 346 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,645 (muffled) PAUL! PAUL. 347 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,347 (pounds) 348 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,282 (sighs) 349 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,317 (muffled) PLEASE. 350 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:31,291 I'M SORRY. I'VE JUST BEEN SO PANICKED SINCE I GOT IT. 351 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,761 IT HAS THE EXACT SAME WORDING AS THE LETTER MARY ALICE RECEIVED. 352 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,430 YES. 353 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,532 THAT'S VERY WEIRD. 354 00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,637 BUT WHY ARE YOU SO WORKED UP ABOUT IT? 355 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,506 (gasps) I BELIEVE MARY ALICE GOT A LITTLE WORKED UP 356 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,707 WHEN SHE GOT HERS. 357 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,677 BUT SHE WAS HIDING SOMETHING. YOU AREN'T. 358 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,447 RIGHT? 359 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,716 OF COURSE NOT. 360 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,252 IT'S OBVIOUSLY JUST A CRUEL PRANK, 361 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:02,322 BUT I STILL WANNA KNOW WHO'S RESPONSIBLE. 362 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,525 IT HAD TO BE SOMEONE WHO KNEW ABOUT THE ORIGINAL NOTE. 363 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:09,629 WELL, LET'S SEE. OBVIOUSLY THERE'S MARTHA HUBER. 364 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,498 OBVIOUSLY SHE DIDN'T SEND IT. 365 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,166 THEN THERE'S YOU, 366 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,335 SUSAN, LYNETTE, GABY. 367 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,237 I ASSUME YOU'VE ALREADY ASKED THEM. 368 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:23,310 UH, ACTUALLY, I-I HAVEN'T MENTIONED IT TO THE GIRLS YET. 369 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:26,413 I-I STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. 370 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,481 WELL, WHATEVER IT IS, 371 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,683 DON'T KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. 372 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:36,289 IF MARY ALICE HAD SHARED HER NOTE WITH YOU GIRLS... 373 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:38,425 THINGS MIGHT HAVE TURNED OUT... 374 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,128 A WHOLE DIFFERENT WAY. 375 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,406 YOU KNOW IT'S RECYCLING DAY. 376 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,541 SO? 377 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,143 SO IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT 378 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,178 TO PUT KITCHEN GARBAGE IN YOUR RECYCLING BIN. 379 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:01,548 OH. I HOPE I DON'T GET PUNISHED. 380 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,890 OH, HERE I AM, DROPPING A TURKEY CARCASS 381 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,225 IN WITH THE RECYCLING. 382 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:15,495 AND HERE I AM, NOT GIVING A CRAP. 383 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,503 UH-OH. YOU GOT ME. 384 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,672 CAN I BUM ONE? 385 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,474 MY OLD LADY MADE ME QUIT. 386 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,577 (sighs) 387 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,480 (mouth full) 17... 388 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,615 18... 389 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,350 19... 390 00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:40,720 THANK GOD. THOSE WERE FROM LAST WEEK. 391 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,564 HELLO. UH, BEN, ISN'T IT? 392 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,200 YES. 393 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,468 UH, LISTEN, UH, 394 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:56,569 I WAS JUST TALKING TO MRS. McCLUSKEY, 395 00:18:56,603 --> 00:19:01,474 AND I GOTTA SAY, I REALLY MISJUDGED YOU. 396 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,310 OH? YEAH. 397 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,378 SHE WAS TELLING ME ALL THE WAYS YOU'VE HELPED HER. 398 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:08,281 WELL, I LIKE TO THINK I'M DOING GOD'S WORK, 399 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:12,585 YOU KNOW, UNTIL HE TAKES HER IN HER SLEEP OR WHAT HAVE YOU. 400 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,221 YEAH, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNEW THIS, 401 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:17,257 BUT I'M QUITE INVOLVED WITH SENIORS MYSELF. 402 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:21,628 GET OUT! LOOK AT US, HAVING THINGS IN COMMON. 403 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,930 (chuckles) YEAH. 404 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:28,468 SO IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH? 405 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:33,240 ACTUALLY, YES. ARE YOU FREE TONIGHT? 406 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,343 (door creaks) 407 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,310 HEY, BUDDY. 408 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,110 WHAT ARE YOU THINKING FOR DINNER TONIGHT? 409 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,313 (door closes) MEXICAN? CHINESE? 410 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,814 ACTUALLY, THERE'S A PARTY AT RICH COHEN'S 411 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:42,949 I WAS HOPING TO GO TO. 412 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,352 YEAH? DON'T HOPE TOO HARD. 413 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,453 WHY NOT? 414 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,455 REMEMBER WHEN RICH TURNED 13? 415 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:51,424 IT WAS THE ONLY BAR MITZVAH EVER SHUT DOWN BY THE POLICE. 416 00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,493 I DON'T TRUST HIS PARENTS. 417 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,428 WELL, IF YOU MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, THEY'RE OUT OF TOWN. 418 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:57,564 OOH, AN UNSUPERVISED PARTY? EVEN BETTER. 419 00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,831 WE'RE JUST GONNA BE 420 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,433 EATING PIZZA AND WATCHING MOVIES AND STUFF, 421 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,869 AND RICH'S OLDER BROTHER WILL BE THERE. (gasps) 422 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:05,472 PERFECT. SOMEONE TO BUY THE BEER. 423 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:09,309 SO YOU'RE SAYING "NO"? AGAIN? 424 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:10,943 UH... 425 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:18,451 I'M NOT SAYING NO. I'M SAYING ASK YOUR DAD. 426 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:21,288 HEY! I'M JUST DROPPING OFF A CHECK. 427 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,423 (door closes) HANG ON A SEC. PARKER HAS SOMETHING HE WANTS TO ASK YOU. 428 00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,493 PARKER. 429 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,461 CAN I GO TO A PARTY AT RICH COHEN'S HOUSE TONIGHT? 430 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,829 WHAT DID YOUR MOM SAY? 431 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:33,300 HIS MOM SAID HE SHOULD ASK HIS DAD. 432 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:37,570 OH. WELL... H-HIS PARENTS ARE GONNA BE THERE, RIGHT? 433 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:40,507 NOPE. NO PARENTS. 434 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:43,976 AND... RICH COHEN-- 435 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,313 DIDN'T SOMETHING HAPPEN AT HIS BAR MITZVAH? 436 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,581 LOTS OF THINGS HAPPENED-- DRINKING, POT SMOKING, 437 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,417 THE WHITTAKER GIRL GOT PREGNANT. 438 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,852 (chuckles) IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ALREADY MADE UP YOUR MIND HERE. 439 00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,921 NO, NO, NO. 440 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,990 I HAVE NOT MADE UP MY MIND. IT IS ENTIRELY UP TO YOU. 441 00:20:58,024 --> 00:21:01,428 YOU HEAR THAT, DAD? ENTIRELY UP TO YOU. 442 00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:06,065 WELL... I-IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR MOM DOESN'T THINK 443 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,335 THIS IS A GOOD IDEA-- I DIDN'T SAY THAT. 444 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,337 I DON'T NOT THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA. 445 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,772 OH, SO YOU DO DO THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA. 446 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:16,476 I DON'T NOT THINK IT'S NOT... NOT... A GOOD IDEA. 447 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,544 OKAY, I'M CONFUSED. 448 00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:18,545 WELL, IF YOUR MOM'S NOT SAYING "NO," 449 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,879 I'M NOT SAYING "NO" EITHER. 450 00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,514 OH! WELL, IF YOUR DAD'S NOT SAYING "NO," 451 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,015 I'M SURE AS HELL NOT GOING TO SAY "NO." 452 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,451 SO IS THAT A "YES"? 453 00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,354 WELL... (chuckles) IT'S NOT A "NO." 454 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:28,421 SWEET. 455 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,457 (chuckles) 456 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:34,060 (door opens and closes) 457 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,030 ARE YOU SURE THIS THING IS SAFE? 458 00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,700 MY SON PLAYS FIREMAN ON MINE ALL THE TIME. 459 00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:41,934 DO YOU WANNA SEE A PICTURE? 460 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,737 LET'S NOT MAKE THIS SADDER THAN IT IS. 461 00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,639 ALL RIGHT, SO MY HUSBAND'S HAVING A LITTLE PROBLEM 462 00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:48,908 IN THE BEDROOM. WITH HIS WIENER? 463 00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:51,511 YES, WITH HIS... WIENER. 464 00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:53,380 WELL, YOU CAN RELAX, BECAUSE I'M LIKE A DOCTOR, 465 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:56,749 AND I SEE THIS PROBLEM ALL THE TIME WITH OLDER WOMEN. 466 00:21:56,783 --> 00:21:58,918 "OLDER"? (scoffs) EXCUSE ME. 467 00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:00,119 I DON'T THINK OUR AGES ARE THAT FAR APART. 468 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,654 WHEN WERE YOU BORN? 469 00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:02,822 1992. 470 00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:04,624 ME, TOO. ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH CHITCHAT. 471 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,593 GIVE ME A TASTE OF WHAT I'M GONNA LEARN HERE. 472 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:17,036 OKAY. I'D DO YA. 473 00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:17,970 LET ME TRY. 474 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,806 THAT WAS KIND OF ADVANCED. 475 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:22,809 I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD START WITH SOMETHING SIMPLE, 476 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,110 LIKE GRINDING ON A CHAIR. 477 00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:26,078 OKAY, WILL YOU STOP TREATING ME LIKE A GRANDMA? 478 00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:29,816 I DO YOGA AND ZUMBA AND KICKBOXING. 479 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,718 I'M IN EXCELLENT SHAPE. 480 00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:34,921 OKAY. (grunting) 481 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,590 NOT BAD. 482 00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:38,991 OKAY, NOW ASS UP, LEGS OUT, 483 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:42,795 AND REMEMBER, SLOW IS SEXY. 484 00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:45,031 AAH! (thud) 485 00:22:45,064 --> 00:22:46,232 OH, MY GOD. 486 00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:49,869 OHH! OKAY. UH... (grunts) A LITTLE HARDER THAN IT LOOKS. 487 00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:51,771 NO WORRIES. YOU'LL PICK IT UP IN NO TIME. 488 00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:52,972 SIX MONTHS TOPS. 489 00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:55,708 WHAT?! I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG. 490 00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:58,077 I NEED YOUR MOVES, YOUR BODY... 491 00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,948 MY ASS, BUT BASICALLY I NEED TO BE YOU BY TONIGHT. 492 00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:04,984 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? 493 00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,986 I'M HEADLINING AT DOUBLE D's. 494 00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,921 IF I TRIPLE YOUR PAY, 495 00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:12,058 WOULD YOU MIND BEING THE OPENING ACT HERE? 496 00:23:16,696 --> 00:23:17,830 BEN, I DON'T KNOW HOW THE FOOD IS, 497 00:23:17,864 --> 00:23:19,566 BUT I ALREADY LOVE THIS RESTAURANT. 498 00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:21,668 WE ARE THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE HERE. 499 00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:24,837 OH, THIS ISN'T A RESTAURANT. 500 00:23:24,871 --> 00:23:26,873 (indistinct conversations) 501 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,675 THIS IS THE SENIOR CENTER. 502 00:23:28,708 --> 00:23:31,711 WELCOME TO THE BEN FAULKNER FUNCTION ROOM. 503 00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,914 (scoffs) WE'RE NOT EATING HERE, ARE WE? 504 00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:37,717 NO, NO, WE'RE SERVING. 505 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,787 WE CAN EAT AFTERWARDS IF THERE ARE, YOU KNOW, LEFTOVERS. 506 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:42,889 OH, FUN. 507 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:47,494 UH, BUT I'M-- I'M A LITTLE UNDERDRESSED. 508 00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:50,597 THERE YOU GO. 509 00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:51,698 THERE. NOW YOU'RE PERFECT. 510 00:23:51,731 --> 00:23:53,566 (slaps back) 511 00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:57,870 GABY, F.Y.I., GUYS WHO USED TO BE BLIND 512 00:23:57,904 --> 00:23:59,606 DON'T ENJOY RELIVING IT. 513 00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:01,641 RELAX. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS. 514 00:24:01,674 --> 00:24:03,676 NOW JUST SIT BACK 515 00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:05,645 AND GET READY FOR TAKEOFF. 516 00:24:12,251 --> 00:24:14,687 MMM. 517 00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:15,688 (chuckles) 518 00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:16,789 (giggles) YEAH. 519 00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:21,227 WOW. (chuckles) YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT. 520 00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:24,897 I HAVE... (singsongy) BUT THAT'S NOT MY ASS. 521 00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:26,599 (whispers) IT'S A PROFESSIONAL'S. 522 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:28,568 MEET DAKOTA. 523 00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:31,237 WHAT THE HELL? WHAT IS THIS? 524 00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:33,940 A GIFT FROM YOUR WIFE. I WORK AT DOUBLE D's, 525 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:35,908 OUT BY THE INTERSTATE. 526 00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:38,811 NOT THE ONE BY THE AIRPORT THAT HAD THE HEPATITIS SCARE. 527 00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:41,213 YOU HIRED A STRIPPER. 528 00:24:41,247 --> 00:24:43,550 ONLY AS A WARM-UP ACT. 529 00:24:43,550 --> 00:24:44,951 THEN LATER ON, SHE'LL CLEAR OUT, 530 00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:47,720 AND IT'S JUST YOU AND ME FOR THE MAIN EVENT. 531 00:24:47,754 --> 00:24:49,756 NOPE. NOT DOING THIS. 532 00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:52,659 HANG ON. IDEA. SIT DOWN. 533 00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:54,594 (chuckles) 534 00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:55,962 OH! OKAY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 535 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:58,765 I DON'T... OH, MY GOD. HE'S RIGHT. 536 00:24:58,798 --> 00:25:00,733 YOUR BODY-- IT'S LIKE A DOLPHIN. 537 00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:02,001 GIVE IT A LITTLE SPANK. 538 00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:03,603 NOTHING WILL FIX HIS PROBLEM QUICKER 539 00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:05,838 THAN A LITTLE GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION. 540 00:25:05,872 --> 00:25:06,873 MY "PROBLEM." 541 00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:08,608 (gasps) 542 00:25:08,641 --> 00:25:09,375 YOU TOLD HER. 543 00:25:09,408 --> 00:25:11,678 OKAY, QUICK. MAKE OUT WITH ME. 544 00:25:11,711 --> 00:25:14,814 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EMBARRASSING THIS IS FOR ME? 545 00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,917 THANK YOU, DOCTOR. YOU CAN GO NOW. 546 00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:23,222 HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME? 547 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:25,592 TRY TO GET OUR SEX LIFE BACK ON TRACK? 548 00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:26,693 CARLOS, EVEN AT OUR WORST, 549 00:25:26,726 --> 00:25:29,662 THIS IS THE ONE THING THAT'S ALWAYS WORKED FOR US. 550 00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:31,297 I JUST WANT US TO GET BACK TO NORMAL. 551 00:25:31,330 --> 00:25:33,332 WE'RE NEVER GOING BACK TO NORMAL! 552 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:36,335 DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! 553 00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:39,839 WHAT I DID... 554 00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,874 YOU CAN'T WISH IT AWAY. 555 00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:44,911 IT IS WITH ME ALL THE TIME, 556 00:25:44,944 --> 00:25:46,813 WHETHER I'M AWAKE 557 00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:48,748 OR ASLEEP... 558 00:25:53,019 --> 00:25:55,254 OR TRYING TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU. 559 00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:59,291 I'M SORRY. I JUST WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO. 560 00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:03,796 THERE'S NOT. 561 00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:11,671 (indistinct conversations) 562 00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:15,642 WHAT'S THAT? 563 00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:17,744 I DON'T KNOW. 564 00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,646 IS IT GOOD? 565 00:26:19,646 --> 00:26:21,380 LET ME CLUE YOU IN ON SOMETHING. 566 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:25,017 FOOD IS USUALLY EITHER GOOD OR FREE. 567 00:26:27,286 --> 00:26:28,955 HOW COME YOU'RE DRESSED SO FANCY? 568 00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:32,759 BECAUSE I'M ON A DATE WITH THAT HOT AUSSIE OVER THERE. 569 00:26:32,792 --> 00:26:36,362 HE JUST FAILED TO MENTION WHAT THE DATE WAS. 570 00:26:36,395 --> 00:26:40,132 BEN BROUGHT YOU TO SLING FOOD DRESSED LIKE THAT? 571 00:26:40,166 --> 00:26:43,670 (chuckles) HONEY, I THINK HE'S MESSING WITH YOU. 572 00:26:43,703 --> 00:26:45,271 (chuckles) 573 00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:55,682 I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD LAUGH. 574 00:26:55,682 --> 00:26:57,750 BE THANKFUL I SHOVED THAT ON YOUR HEAD. 575 00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,351 THERE WAS ANOTHER OPTION. 576 00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:06,225 RENEE, STOP. 577 00:27:06,258 --> 00:27:09,395 WHY? SO YOU CAN MOCK ME SOME MORE? 578 00:27:09,428 --> 00:27:10,863 I WASN'T MOCKING YOU. 579 00:27:12,331 --> 00:27:14,366 OKAY, BUT I MEAN, YOU DID KINDA DESERVE IT-- 580 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,337 I MEAN, YOUR WHOLE "I HEART OLD PEOPLE" THING. 581 00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:21,140 I WAS TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING WE HAD IN COMMON, 582 00:27:21,173 --> 00:27:23,910 AND NOW I KNOW WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON. 583 00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:26,412 YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON WHO DOES THINGS LIKE THIS, 584 00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:29,849 AND... I'M ME. 585 00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:31,383 YOU'RE NOT A GOOD PERSON? 586 00:27:31,417 --> 00:27:33,452 NO, BEN, I'M NOT. 587 00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:37,757 BECAUSE TRUTHFULLY, DOING CHARITY MAKES ME NAUSEOUS. 588 00:27:37,790 --> 00:27:39,158 YEAH, ME, TOO. 589 00:27:39,191 --> 00:27:40,259 WHAT? 590 00:27:40,292 --> 00:27:44,163 MAKES MEUNCOMFORTABLE, TOO, BUT I KNOW WHY THAT IS. 591 00:27:44,196 --> 00:27:45,732 DO YOU? 592 00:27:45,732 --> 00:27:48,167 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS. 593 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,303 WHY? YOU AFRAID OF SAYING SOMETHING TRUTHFUL? 594 00:27:54,907 --> 00:27:58,410 WHEN MY MOM... DIED, 595 00:27:58,444 --> 00:28:01,881 I WAS BOUNCED AROUND FROM RELATIVE TO RELATIVE, 596 00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:03,315 MOST OF THEM DIRT-POOR. 597 00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:07,286 WE WERE ON THE RECEIVING END OF A LOT OF CHARITY. 598 00:28:07,319 --> 00:28:09,756 I SPENT PLENTY OF TIME IN PLACES LIKE THIS. 599 00:28:11,390 --> 00:28:13,159 AND I HATED IT. 600 00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:14,493 THEY HAND YOU SOMETHING-- 601 00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:17,897 A, UH, A DENTED CAN OF FOOD OR AN UGLY SHIRT. 602 00:28:17,930 --> 00:28:20,900 AND SOMEONE TELLS YOU, "SAY 'THANK YOU' TO THE NICE LADY." 603 00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:25,838 AND YOU DO, BUT SECRETLY, YOU WANNA SCREAM, "I HATE YOU." 604 00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:31,410 I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO CLAW YOUR WAY OUT OF SOMETHING. 605 00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:34,313 LOOK AT US... 606 00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:41,187 HAVING THINGS IN COMMON. 607 00:28:49,261 --> 00:28:50,429 (scratching sound) 608 00:28:50,462 --> 00:28:52,198 (exhales deeply) 609 00:28:53,833 --> 00:28:55,201 (siren blares) 610 00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:58,270 IT'S ABOUT TIME. 611 00:29:00,873 --> 00:29:02,141 IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER? 612 00:29:02,174 --> 00:29:04,076 YEAH. YOU'RE PARKED IN A FIRE ZONE. 613 00:29:04,110 --> 00:29:08,881 OH! DARN THE LUCK, I AM. 614 00:29:08,915 --> 00:29:10,549 WELL, SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GONNA BE SLAPPED 615 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:12,551 WITH A PRETTY STEEP FINE. 616 00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:14,453 YEAH, I SHOULD WRITE YOU A TICKET. 617 00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:15,822 MM. 618 00:29:15,855 --> 00:29:18,390 BUT IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO DO IT AGAIN, 619 00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:20,059 I'LL LET YOU OFF WITH A WARNING. 620 00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,428 WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 621 00:29:22,461 --> 00:29:25,497 'CAUSE I'M A NEW DAD. OH, JEEZ. 622 00:29:25,531 --> 00:29:28,868 ABIGAIL DOROTHY BROVKA, 8 POUNDS, 6 OUNCES. 623 00:29:28,901 --> 00:29:30,469 I'M JUST SO HAPPY, 624 00:29:30,502 --> 00:29:31,838 FILLED WITH LOVE. 625 00:29:31,838 --> 00:29:33,439 ANYTHING SHORT OF A TRIPLE MURDER, 626 00:29:33,472 --> 00:29:35,541 AND I'M PRETTY MUCH LOOKING THE OTHER WAY. 627 00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:38,177 NO, NO. NO, DON'T LOOK THE OTHER WAY. 628 00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:40,847 NO, LOOK THIS WAY. 629 00:29:40,847 --> 00:29:43,115 LAWS HAVE BEEN BROKEN. THERE MUST BE CONSEQUENCES. 630 00:29:43,149 --> 00:29:44,583 I JUST WANNA GET HOME TO MY BABY. 631 00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:47,053 I MEAN, LOOK AT HER, ALL WRAPPED UP 632 00:29:47,086 --> 00:29:49,055 LIKE THE TASTIEST LITTLE BURRITO IN FAIRVIEW. 633 00:29:49,088 --> 00:29:51,090 OH, LOOK AT THAT. YEAH. 634 00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:52,859 AH, WELL... 635 00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:54,593 (mutters) 636 00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:56,863 THAT WAS NOT COOL. 637 00:29:56,863 --> 00:30:00,032 NOW FORTUNATELY FOR YOU, I ALWAYS CARRY A BACKUP. 638 00:30:00,066 --> 00:30:01,433 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 639 00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:03,535 WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET ARRESTED HERE? 640 00:30:03,569 --> 00:30:06,172 LADY, PEOPLE LIKE YOU USED TO DRIVE ME NUTS. 641 00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:08,607 BUT NOTHING CAN FAZE ME NOW THAT THIS SWEET LITTLE GIRL'S 642 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,276 COME INTO MY LIFE. 643 00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:14,446 WELL, THAT SWEET LITTLE GIRL-- SHE'S GOT DUMBO EARS. 644 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:15,882 (thud) 645 00:30:17,116 --> 00:30:18,450 UHH! 646 00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:19,585 MA'AM, YOU CAN TURN AROUND 647 00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:22,054 AND PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK. 648 00:30:22,088 --> 00:30:24,090 YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT. (handcuffs clicking) 649 00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:26,525 ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU 650 00:30:26,558 --> 00:30:28,494 IN A COURT OF LAW. (exhales deeply) 651 00:30:28,527 --> 00:30:31,330 HEY, MIKE. 652 00:30:31,363 --> 00:30:34,500 UM, I, UH, I'VE GOT A BIT OF A PROBLEM. 653 00:30:34,533 --> 00:30:36,635 MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME OUT WITH IT. 654 00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:39,138 I CAN TRY. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 655 00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:40,839 YOU. 656 00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:46,145 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HIRE YOU WHEN I CAN'T GET YOU BONDED? 657 00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:49,548 WHO KNEW? MIKE DELFINO, SUBURBAN DAD, 658 00:30:49,581 --> 00:30:53,585 GUY WHO KEEPS THE NEATEST LAWN ON THE BLOCK, 659 00:30:53,619 --> 00:30:55,354 EX CON? 660 00:30:55,387 --> 00:30:57,356 (sighs) YEP. 661 00:30:57,389 --> 00:30:59,625 AND YOU WERE GONNA MENTION THIS WHEN? 662 00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:02,328 LOOK, I'M SORRY. IT'S NOT SOMETHING I TEND TO LEAD WITH 663 00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:03,529 WHEN I MEET SOMEBODY. 664 00:31:03,562 --> 00:31:05,998 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT THAT GUY ANYMORE. 665 00:31:06,032 --> 00:31:07,499 THAT'S RIGHT. 666 00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:11,603 A BAD COP TRIED TO RAPE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, 667 00:31:11,637 --> 00:31:14,473 AND YOU FOUGHT HIM TO PROTECT HER. 668 00:31:14,506 --> 00:31:17,944 TELL ME WHY YOU WOULDN'T WANNA BE THAT GUY ANYMORE. 669 00:31:17,944 --> 00:31:20,612 IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. I WAS A KID, 670 00:31:20,646 --> 00:31:23,983 AND I'VE LEARNED LIFE'S A LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN I THOUGHT. 671 00:31:24,016 --> 00:31:25,985 NAH. NAH. 672 00:31:26,018 --> 00:31:29,088 LIFE IS BRUTALLY SIMPLE. 673 00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:34,026 LIFE IS GETTING WHAT YOU WANT AND PROTECTING WHO YOU LOVE... 674 00:31:34,060 --> 00:31:35,694 AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WEAKNESS. 675 00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:37,629 A GUY LIKE YOU... 676 00:31:37,663 --> 00:31:40,532 GUY LIKE YOU KNOWS IT. 677 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:43,669 BEN, IF THIS IS ALL JUST TO TELL ME YOU CAN'T USE ME, 678 00:31:43,702 --> 00:31:44,703 I UNDERSTAND. 679 00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,438 NO, NO, NO, NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT. 680 00:31:46,472 --> 00:31:48,674 I SAID I COULDN'T BOND YOU. 681 00:31:48,707 --> 00:31:50,609 (sighs) 682 00:31:50,642 --> 00:31:53,145 I CAN DEFINITELY USE YOU. 683 00:31:55,114 --> 00:31:57,483 I HOPE YOU'VE COOLED OFF A BIT. 684 00:31:57,516 --> 00:32:01,353 YEAH. WELL, UH, SPENDING A FEW HOURS IN A CELL 685 00:32:01,387 --> 00:32:05,591 WITH A DRUNK TRANSVESTITE WILL DO THAT TO YOU. (chuckles) 686 00:32:05,624 --> 00:32:09,361 YOUR BABY'S CUTE, BY THE WAY. 687 00:32:09,395 --> 00:32:11,297 I SWEAR SHE'LL GROW INTO THOSE EARS. 688 00:32:11,330 --> 00:32:15,001 THANKS. THE GUY YOU CALLED TO PICK YOU UP IS HERE. 689 00:32:15,034 --> 00:32:17,269 (sighs) 690 00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:20,539 (telephone ringing in distance) 691 00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:24,476 CARLOS, THANKS FOR COMING. 692 00:32:24,510 --> 00:32:26,445 I COULDN'T CALL MIKE, AND, UH, 693 00:32:26,478 --> 00:32:27,746 I DIDN'T WANNA UPSET THE GIRLS, SO... 694 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,248 YOU OKAY? 695 00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:32,351 THEY TOLD ME YOU ASSAULTED A MOTORCYCLE COP. 696 00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:36,588 (sighs) ACTUALLY, IT WAS JUST A MOTORCYCLE. 697 00:32:36,622 --> 00:32:38,724 THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU. 698 00:32:38,757 --> 00:32:42,061 I'VE BEEN... 699 00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:45,464 IN THIS WEIRD PLACE LATELY. 700 00:32:46,432 --> 00:32:50,502 I KEEP DOING THINGS, HOPING TO GET CAUGHT. 701 00:32:50,536 --> 00:32:52,438 DOES IT HELP? 702 00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,673 FOR FIVE MINUTES. 703 00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:59,078 AND THEN I JUST FEEL GUILTY AGAIN. 704 00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:06,652 (whispers) I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO PULL MYSELF OUT OF THIS. 705 00:33:06,685 --> 00:33:08,254 (lowered voice) I GET IT. 706 00:33:08,287 --> 00:33:12,624 GABY KEEPS PUSHING ME TO ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL. 707 00:33:12,658 --> 00:33:15,227 I GUESS WE'RE JUST SUPPOSED TO STUFF EVERYTHING DOWN 708 00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:16,528 AND MOVE ON. 709 00:33:16,562 --> 00:33:18,297 BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 710 00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:21,467 THE GIRLS ARE PLAYING POKER 711 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:25,704 AND ACTING LIKE THINGS ARE FINE, AND THEY'RE NOT. 712 00:33:28,507 --> 00:33:29,508 (sighs) 713 00:33:35,481 --> 00:33:37,449 IT IS NICE TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THIS. 714 00:33:37,483 --> 00:33:39,485 OHH. 715 00:33:39,518 --> 00:33:41,553 IT IS. 716 00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,591 DO YOU WANNA GET SOME COFFEE? 717 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,529 SOUNDS GOOD. 718 00:34:01,307 --> 00:34:05,277 (beeping) 719 00:34:05,311 --> 00:34:07,779 (ringing, indistinct conversations) 720 00:34:07,813 --> 00:34:09,615 PARKER, IT'S ME. 721 00:34:09,648 --> 00:34:12,351 IT'S GETTING LATE. IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 722 00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:15,287 EVERYTHING IS FINE, M'LADY. 723 00:34:15,321 --> 00:34:16,622 WHO'S THIS? 724 00:34:16,655 --> 00:34:17,689 Toph. 725 00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:20,492 IF THIS IS A BOOTY CALL, TOPH IS READY TO FILL IN. 726 00:34:20,526 --> 00:34:23,495 WHERE IS PARKER? 727 00:34:23,529 --> 00:34:24,796 I don't know, man. 728 00:34:24,830 --> 00:34:26,265 IT'S KIND OF 729 00:34:26,298 --> 00:34:28,800 A "LORD OF THE FLIES" SITUATION HERE. 730 00:34:28,834 --> 00:34:32,371 SO... ARE WE HOOKING UP OR WHAT? 731 00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:33,372 OH! 732 00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:34,473 (beep) 733 00:34:34,506 --> 00:34:36,242 *** 734 00:34:36,275 --> 00:34:37,309 PARKER! 735 00:34:37,343 --> 00:34:40,179 PARKER! 736 00:34:40,212 --> 00:34:42,414 EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME. I'M LOOKING FOR MY SON, 737 00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,383 PARKER SCAVO-- I'M HOPING YOU KNOW HIM. 738 00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:47,419 (crowd chanting) KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND! 739 00:34:47,453 --> 00:34:50,322 AND NOW I'M HOPING YOU DON'T. 740 00:34:50,356 --> 00:34:53,292 KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND! 741 00:34:53,325 --> 00:34:55,327 WHOA, HOLD ON. THIS IS A PRIVATE PARTY. 742 00:34:55,361 --> 00:34:56,695 UH, I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE. 743 00:34:56,728 --> 00:34:58,564 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF NARC? 744 00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:02,234 NO, I'M JUST LOOKING FOR MY SON, I SWEAR. I'M NOT A NARC. 745 00:35:02,268 --> 00:35:04,370 EXACTLY WHAT A NARC WOULD SAY. 746 00:35:04,403 --> 00:35:05,471 STEP ASIDE, KID. 747 00:35:05,504 --> 00:35:07,673 LADY, I SAID NO. 748 00:35:07,706 --> 00:35:11,210 LISTEN TO ME. MY SON IS HERE SOMEWHERE, 749 00:35:11,243 --> 00:35:13,345 AND HE IS PROBABLY DRUNK AND PROBABLY TERRIFIED, 750 00:35:13,379 --> 00:35:15,281 AND I HAVE GOT TO FIND HIM. 751 00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:18,350 SORRY. THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE LETTING A NARC INTO OUR PARTY. 752 00:35:18,384 --> 00:35:22,321 I AM NOT... UGH! (grunts) 753 00:35:22,354 --> 00:35:24,623 (indistinct conversations) 754 00:35:24,656 --> 00:35:25,791 OKAY. 755 00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:27,659 WOULD A NARC DO THIS? 756 00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:32,331 LEGS! 757 00:35:32,364 --> 00:35:33,465 (crowd chanting) KEG STAND! 758 00:35:33,499 --> 00:35:38,404 KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG STAND! 759 00:35:38,437 --> 00:35:40,272 (Tom) LYNETTE? 760 00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:41,340 UH... TOM! 761 00:35:41,373 --> 00:35:43,609 (crowd) KEG STAND! 762 00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,711 THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. I HAVEN'T BEEN DRINKING. 763 00:35:45,744 --> 00:35:47,713 (belches) 764 00:35:47,746 --> 00:35:50,682 I MEAN, A LITTLE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 765 00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:54,453 PARKER CALLED ME TO PICK HIM UP BECAUSE HE DRANK TOO MUCH. WHERE IS HE? 766 00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:56,722 HE'S IN THE CAR. HE SENT ME BACK BECAUSE HE LOST HIS PHONE. 767 00:35:56,755 --> 00:36:00,426 IS HE OKAY? HE'S COVERED IN PUKE, WHICH I'M HOPING IS--IS HIS. 768 00:36:00,459 --> 00:36:02,228 OH, GOD. 769 00:36:02,261 --> 00:36:05,464 THIS IS YOUR FAULT FOR LETTING HIM COME HERE. 770 00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:07,699 MY FAULT? YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED HIM. 771 00:36:07,733 --> 00:36:10,336 OH, PLEASE. YOU KNEW IT WAS A BAD IDEA. 772 00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:12,304 YOU WERE JUST TOO BUSY TESTING ME. 773 00:36:12,338 --> 00:36:15,941 NO, I WAS GIVING YOU A CHANCE TO STAND UP AND BE A FATHER. 774 00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:17,376 NOW WE'VE GOT A 16-YEAR-OLD SON 775 00:36:17,409 --> 00:36:18,710 WE HAVE TO CLEAN OFF WITH A GARDEN HOSE. 776 00:36:18,744 --> 00:36:21,647 I GUESS YOU SHOWED ME. 777 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,650 (scoffs) 778 00:36:32,624 --> 00:36:34,360 HE ASLEEP? 779 00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:36,762 YEAH. I THOUGHT 780 00:36:36,795 --> 00:36:40,799 LET HIM SOBER UP BEFORE WE PUNISH HIM. 781 00:36:40,832 --> 00:36:43,469 I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET HIM GO TONIGHT. 782 00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:50,709 BUT RIGHT NOW SAYING "YES" IS THE ONLY MOVE I'VE GOT. 783 00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:52,411 "MOVE"? 784 00:36:52,444 --> 00:36:54,346 WHAT IS THIS? 785 00:36:54,380 --> 00:36:56,382 SOME KIND OF GAME YOU'RE TRYING TO WIN? 786 00:36:56,415 --> 00:37:01,420 LYNETTE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE FOR ME. 787 00:37:01,453 --> 00:37:04,490 FOR 20 YEARS, I HAD THE SAME BEDTIME RITUAL. 788 00:37:04,523 --> 00:37:08,294 I-I BRUSHED MY TEETH, AND I'D GO LOOK AT EACH KID SLEEPING, 789 00:37:08,294 --> 00:37:11,863 AND NO MATTER WHAT CRAP HAPPENED DURING THE DAY, 790 00:37:11,897 --> 00:37:15,501 I KNEW THE THINGS THAT MATTERED WERE OKAY. 791 00:37:15,534 --> 00:37:17,836 NOW MY RITUAL... 792 00:37:17,869 --> 00:37:19,838 I BRUSH MY TEETH. 793 00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:22,841 SO, YES. 794 00:37:22,874 --> 00:37:24,543 I'M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE THE LITTLE TIME 795 00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,513 THAT I SPEND WITH THEM THE BEST PART OF THEIR WEEK. 796 00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:29,481 WOW. YOU'RE SUCCEEDING. 797 00:37:29,515 --> 00:37:32,384 WHEN I SEE THEM SPRINT OUT TO THE CAR, 798 00:37:32,418 --> 00:37:34,620 SO EXCITED TO SEE DADDY, 799 00:37:34,653 --> 00:37:36,722 PART OF ME THINKS, GREAT. 800 00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:40,426 THEY'RE OKAY WITH THIS, AND PART OF ME THINKS... 801 00:37:42,594 --> 00:37:45,063 OH, CRAP. 802 00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:48,467 I'M LOSING THEM TO YOU. 803 00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:50,802 SO YOU'RE TRYING TO WIN, TOO. 804 00:37:50,836 --> 00:37:52,471 NO. 805 00:37:57,709 --> 00:38:00,078 I JUST... 806 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:02,848 I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. 807 00:38:05,684 --> 00:38:07,786 AND THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS 808 00:38:07,819 --> 00:38:11,657 IS IF WE STOP WORRYING ABOUT... 809 00:38:13,759 --> 00:38:15,661 WHO WINS. 810 00:38:24,536 --> 00:38:25,771 I'M SORRY TO BURDEN YOU WITH THIS, 811 00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:28,674 BUT I JUST COULDN'T KEEP IT TO MYSELF ANYMORE. 812 00:38:28,707 --> 00:38:30,809 WHY NOT? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME? 813 00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:33,044 REPRESSION IS, LIKE, YOUR THING. 814 00:38:33,078 --> 00:38:35,681 OKAY, LET'S--LET'S SAY SOMEONE KNOWS. 815 00:38:35,714 --> 00:38:37,015 THEY'RE NOT ASKING US FOR MONEY. 816 00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:39,084 THEY'RE NOT TRYING TO BLACKMAIL US. 817 00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:40,452 I SAY UNTIL THEY TELL US WHAT THEY WANT, 818 00:38:40,486 --> 00:38:43,054 WE JUST ACT LIKE EVERYTHING'S NORMAL. 819 00:38:43,088 --> 00:38:45,724 EXCEPT I'M DRINKING A LOT MORE. 820 00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:48,394 YOU DON'T THINK WE SHOULD TELL THE OTHERS? 821 00:38:48,394 --> 00:38:49,995 WELL, WE CAN'T TELL SUSAN. SHE'S ALREADY FLIPPING OUT. 822 00:38:50,028 --> 00:38:51,830 YOU'RE RIGHT. AND WE SHOULDN'T TELL LYNETTE, 823 00:38:51,863 --> 00:38:53,098 GIVEN WHAT'S GOING ON IN HER MARRIAGE. 824 00:38:53,131 --> 00:38:55,467 OR CARLOS, GIVEN WHAT'S GOING ON IN MINE. 825 00:38:57,569 --> 00:38:59,605 SO YOU DON'T THINK WE SHOULD DO ANYTHING? 826 00:38:59,638 --> 00:39:01,773 (glass clatters) 827 00:39:01,807 --> 00:39:03,409 WELL, THERE IS ONE THING I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU 828 00:39:03,409 --> 00:39:06,077 YOU NEED TO DO. GET RID OF CHUCK! 829 00:39:06,111 --> 00:39:08,580 YOU'RE RIGHT. I SHOULD, BUT, UM-- 830 00:39:08,614 --> 00:39:09,715 BUT WHAT? 831 00:39:09,748 --> 00:39:11,817 THIS IS GONNA SOUND STRANGE. 832 00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:15,787 HE MAKES ME FEEL SAFE. 833 00:39:15,821 --> 00:39:17,989 SAFE? YEAH, I DO THINK THAT'S STRANGE, 834 00:39:18,023 --> 00:39:20,058 ESPECIALLY NOW THAT SOME LUNATIC KNOWS. 835 00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:23,429 BUT YOU'VE GOT TO END THIS, AND YOU'VE GOT TO END IT NOW. 836 00:39:25,831 --> 00:39:28,033 CHUCK? 837 00:39:32,604 --> 00:39:34,706 NOW ISN'T THAT FUNNY? 838 00:39:34,740 --> 00:39:36,675 I WAS JUST THINKING TO MYSELF, 839 00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:39,645 "HOW AM I GONNA WASH MY BACK IN THE SHOWER?" 840 00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:41,046 AND THEN YOU WALK IN. 841 00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:42,614 SERENDIPITY, HUH? 842 00:39:44,049 --> 00:39:47,653 SORRY. I'M GONNA PASS. 843 00:39:47,686 --> 00:39:50,622 OKAY. 844 00:39:52,524 --> 00:39:54,960 IS, UM... 845 00:39:54,993 --> 00:39:56,194 SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND? 846 00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:59,665 IT CAN WAIT. 847 00:39:59,698 --> 00:40:01,032 BREE... GO AHEAD. 848 00:40:01,066 --> 00:40:03,134 TAKE YOUR SHOWER. 849 00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:07,773 (sighs) 850 00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:13,645 (shower running) 851 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:28,760 (telephone rings) 852 00:40:28,794 --> 00:40:30,596 (ring) 853 00:40:30,629 --> 00:40:31,697 (beep) 854 00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:33,131 (exhales deeply) HELLO? 855 00:40:33,164 --> 00:40:34,633 (woman) I have a collect call 856 00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:36,201 from Fairview Correctional Institution. 857 00:40:36,234 --> 00:40:38,537 Will you accept the charges? 858 00:40:38,570 --> 00:40:41,139 YES. 859 00:40:41,172 --> 00:40:43,975 (Paul) Bree, it's Paul Young. 860 00:40:44,009 --> 00:40:45,744 I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ASKED ME-- 861 00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:49,047 you know, who might have known about Mary Alice's note. 862 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:50,048 YEAH? 863 00:40:50,081 --> 00:40:52,951 WHEN I CONFESSED TO THE MURDER OF MARTHA HUBER, 864 00:40:52,984 --> 00:40:54,653 I MENTIONED THE LETTER TO THE POLICE. 865 00:40:58,023 --> 00:41:00,025 WELL, DO YOU REMEMBER WHO THESE POLICEMEN WERE? 866 00:41:00,058 --> 00:41:01,960 The main detective was a tall guy 867 00:41:01,993 --> 00:41:04,930 WITH A SHORT NAME LIKE, UH, PENCE OR VINCE. 868 00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:08,967 WAS IT VANCE? CHUCK VANCE? 869 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,969 YES, THAT'S IT. 870 00:41:11,002 --> 00:41:12,538 I HAVE TO GO. 871 00:41:12,571 --> 00:41:14,706 (beep, receiver clatters) 872 00:41:16,241 --> 00:41:18,076 (shower turns off) 873 00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:21,547 (wallet thuds) 874 00:41:22,781 --> 00:41:25,250 OKAY. I KNOW THAT WAS THE SHORTEST SHOWER 875 00:41:25,283 --> 00:41:28,086 I'VE EVER TAKEN, BUT I... (sighs) 876 00:41:28,119 --> 00:41:29,988 I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE BEFORE. 877 00:41:30,021 --> 00:41:32,958 BE HONEST WITH ME, BREE. 878 00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:35,093 ARE YOU ABOUT TO BREAK UP WITH ME? 879 00:41:38,196 --> 00:41:42,067 (sighs) OF COURSE NOT. 880 00:41:43,702 --> 00:41:48,006 IN FACT, LET'S GET YOU BACK IN THAT SHOWER. (giggles) 881 00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:55,046 YES, IN THE DIVIDED WORLD OF THE SUBURBS, 882 00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:59,585 EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR SOME WAY TO MAKE A CONNECTION. 883 00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:05,757 SOME SEEK TO CONNECT BY FOCUSING ON A GREATER GOOD... 884 00:42:08,259 --> 00:42:12,698 SOME BY REVEALING A COMMON HISTORY... 885 00:42:15,333 --> 00:42:21,239 SOME BY SHARING A PAIN NO ONE ELSE CAN HEAL. 886 00:42:23,675 --> 00:42:25,210 THEN THERE ARE THOSE 887 00:42:25,243 --> 00:42:28,614 WHO ONCE SOUGHT TO MAKE A CONNECTION... 888 00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:35,921 THAT THEY NOW WANT DESPERATELY TO ESCAPE.